The Sir Real Experience

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The Sir Real Experience

Sir Real

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Opening Page

All men dream: but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds
wake in the day to find that it was all vanity;
but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men,
for they may act their dream with open eyes,
to make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence

I'm an experienced leather lifestyle dominant living in north metro Atlanta. My scene name in the BDSM community is Sir Real. Knowing the meaning behind my scene name tells a lot about who I am since I chose this name many years ago for very deliberate reasons.

First of all, I'm a sensual player when it comes to my practice of S&M play. Consequently, while I am playfully sadistic from time to time, my style of play is more "surreal" than sadistic. For me, S&M is as much mental as it is physical. In the end, it's not brutality that will make you mine, but rather my ability to entice you to trust in my control over you.

Second, I pride myself in being a gentleman. I ascribe to the knightly principles of chivalry such as bravery, truth, honor, integrity, courtesy, and gallantry towards women. In this context, the "Sir" aspect of the name appeals to me. In addition, my scene name is clearly an appropriate name for a male dominant, yet doesn't require me to call myself "Lord" or "Master" (Master of who or what?) which seems to me to be a sign of someone who's ego may be out of control. In my experience, the true Masters don't call themselves that to be considered such. Within my own protocols, I have no problem with someone referring to me respectfully as "Sir", but only my own girl should refer to me as "Master".

Third, I embrace being "Real" in this lifestyle. I'm not into false pedigrees, titles, or make believe, and I'm certainly not looking for cyber sex or online fantasy. With me, what you see is what you get.

Last of all, I have always had a twisted passion for the sadistic nature of puns, and I love the pun-ish nature of the name. What other type of humor makes people groan while bringing a smile to their face? In that regard, I consider a good pun it's own reword.

I have been in this lifestyle for over 12 years, and I enjoy an active participation in the Atlanta BDSM community. For me, this is a lifestyle choice that I live all the time. It's the dominance and submission in my daily life that I crave and desire. But as seriously as I take this lifestyle, I also have a good sense of humor, and I try not to take myself too seriously.

In addition to D/s, I also enjoy many aspects of sensual SM and fetish play. I have a voracious appetite for kink. I have a creative mind, and I love trying out new things. I'm currently scored at 855 out of 1000 on the Hotlanta Kink Test, and while I haven't tried everything yet, I have done a lot. There's not much I'm not willing to try at least once, especially with the right partner. I also love teaching newer folks, so don't let my experience concern you in that regard.

If you'd like to chat, I can usually be found in Hotlanta Live Adult Chat. I am also the owner/moderator of several Yahoo Group online communities. GeorgiaBDSMLifestyle Group currently includes more than 1100 leather community members, most of them local to Georgia. The ClubHotlanta Group is oriented around people who love Atlanta's nightlife and has over 11,500 members. You can send me email at SirReal@Hotlanta.com and if you use Yahoo Messenger for instant messaging, my Yahoo ID is SirRealNWGA.

My Philosophy On D/s Relationships

I am very serious about my practice of Dominance/submission (D/s). I enjoy training and mentoring others in the lifestyle, and I am constantly learning new things myself. I practice both public protocols and private protocols. Although I have a fondness for the traditions of the Old Guard protocols, I have an an avid interest and acceptance of other protocols as well. Since I am not a "purist", I incorporate different styles into my practices as I learn about them. I have a strong fascination in Japanese style rope bondage (Shibari) and in the Gorean philosophies of slavery and total acceptance of service to the Master. I also love the beauty of the Gorean slave positions and service styles. Victorian etiquette and Far Eastern Geisha traditions greatly interest me as well. If I had to be categorized, I would consider myself as "New Guard Leather", however I'm not much into putting labels on this lifestyle. I am an incorrigible romantic, and am very protective of those I love. I see no conflict with the concepts of romantic love, D/s slavery, and the lifetime ownership of my slaves. As for my style of play, I'd have to say that I'm a roaring sensualist.

My philosophical outlook on D/s centers around the concepts of respect, trust, love, and commitment. In my mind, these are the four corner stones of a serious long term D/s relationship. Respect is the first stone, without which there can be no learning about each other. With respect and time comes trust, the second stone. Both trust and respect must be present for total submission to be possible. How can a slave give herself totally if there isn't trust and respect in her Master? Love, the third corner stone, provides the desire to please and allows the Master control of his slave. Commitment, the fourth corner stone, gives life and maturity to the relationship. Commitment protects and nurtures the love, trust, and respect, and allows the relationship to grow and strengthen even in hard times. Respect, trust, love, and commitment -- to me, these are the corner stones that are the foundation of a D/s relationship.

In my view, submission is a precious gift, something that cannot be taken, only accepted. Likewise, my domination is my gift to my slave. One cannot exist without the other, each balancing with the other. My locked collar is a symbol of the submission my slave gives to me, the honor I feel in being her Master, and the love and commitment we feel towards one another in our exchange of power. That said, a collar is not a relationship anymore than a wedding band is a marriage. While the collar represents my ownership and her total submission to my will, it is my contractual agreement with my slave that is the true foundation of the relationship. For this gift to be true, there must be complete understanding of the nature of submission in a D/s relationship, and it must be fully consensual and agreed to. I do not ask that any girl enter into a contract with me, but instead I allow her to petition me for the contract when she is ready to accept it. It is always her choice to give me her submission. In my eyes, there is nothing in the world more beautiful or erotic than a slave's love and total submission to her Master.

"Qui me amat, Amat et potentia meum."
Who loves me, loves also my power.
- Sir Real -

And Of The Slaves I've Known This passage from Dragonsbane best speaks my mind:
	"The first thing I had to learn about her, and maybe the hardest I've ever learned about anything...That she is her own, and what she gives me is of her choosing, and the more precious because of it. Sometimes a butterfly will come and sit in your open palm, but if you close your hand, one way or the other, it...and its choice to be there...are gone."